I first had a thought to make this blog as a way to document the thoughts that are racing in my head. I never started to write, and then got the idea again. So here I am. I think that me writing will definitely help my calm my spirit. I have some issues that I need to work on to better myself. One of the things that I will work on is my self esteem and that of my three daughters.
I have always felt awkward about my outside beauty. As I became a woman my self esteem was so damaged that I thought the only way to have someone love me, was to have a baby. So I had my first daughter at 19, my second at age 21, and my last at 25. I thought if I had a baby then the men in my life would love me as well and life would be pristine.
I never really understood the true outcome of having children with no real education, career and finances to fall back on. To this day, I still struggle with thoughts that destroy me and are unhealthy. But I know that with time, God and a support system I will heal.
I have a very loving man that makes me feel as beautiful as the most beautiful woman in the world. I am very thankful for him and love him with all that is in me.
Sometimes I don't believe that I have finally found someone who is a genuine and kindhearted. He is an angel and a blessing to me.
I will start making preparations to heal these wounds that afflict so many other young women and girls. Hopefully this will be therapy for me and others.
I'll be back tomorrow,
butterfli
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